THIS IS WAR

      My hubby is the soldier, he’s the one out there even now working with others to defend, protect and strengthen. I don’t give myself enough credit. I am a soldier too, on the front lines in fact, fighting an enemy that strives to steal, kill and destroy everything good thing in my life and those of my loved ones.

        As a busy mama, a single one right now, I often get lost in the nitty gritty of dealing with all that gets thrown at me from a hundred different directions. I tune out the reality of the spiritual world I live in and instead point my finger and blame a myriad of things- germs, the weather, my hubby’s absence, my neighbors, my emotions, the list goes on. Meanwhile the craziness continues and I become overly exhausted, frustrated, angry, bitter and disheartened. This lofty goal I made to THRIVE and not just survive this coming year has so far yet to make an appearance!

      I forgot a vital piece of truth, a life sustaining, enemy shattering, victory making, joy-releasing truth. Thriving will come at a cost. If I want to see its fruit in my life and the lives of my family members, and even my community, I have a significant role to play. Thriving can only truly come through the powerful act of prayer and fighting for it. Like my picture of a bloodied warrior and her sword, I have to have a soldier mentality in my home, in my heart, in my marriage, in my neighborhood! Everywhere I walk, I will take ownership of that spiritual atmosphere and declare WAR with the enemy of my soul!

     So this is just a marker for me. I am drawing the line. This far and no more, Enemy. You will have no more power over me and my family, my hubby, my home or my neighborhood! You’ve messed with the wrong prayer warrior, with the wrong worshiper. I know you’re already defeated, HA! From here on I am taking responsibility for the atmosphere of my heart and everywhere I go in the name of your defeater JESUS CHRIST. THIS IS WAR. 

Sending My Soldier Off

Today Jose came home from work and informed me that rather than leaving for Europe next week he’ll be leaving much sooner, in less than two days. Yes, we knew it was coming. One last weekend was taken away. I don’t think it’s the weekend so much that upsets us. It’s the fact that it’s right in front of us now, like going into labor early and you haven’t packed your bag for the hospital.  We are kind of scrambling, giving each other those long, sad-eyed looks over the kids’ heads, hugging each other a little longer and tighter than we were just yesterday. You’d think we were pros by now, I mean this will be Jose’s 4^th tour away from us. If you add up all the tours and months of training in between we will have endured almost 5 years of separation in the 16 years of our marriage. To some that’s a lot, to others, hardly nothing. For us? Too much. Too much time apart, too many missed birthdays, too many nights alone, too many tears shed, too many “suck it up and drive on” moments. Too many, too much, enough. As hard as yet another good bye is, I refuse to wallow in misery and walk around in a depressed fog until Jose comes back home. My goal this year, this separation, is to THRIVE not just survive. I want to live in the moment, be present each and every day and not waste a single ounce of joy or laughter on worrying about tomorrow. I want my children to thrive as well. I want Jose to thrive even as he lives away from us for another long tour. How is that even possible?? There is one source and one source only, Jesus Christ. All else is but an empty promise of hope fulfilled, happiness or joy. Thriving will come by abiding in Jesus. He is my first love, my soul’s delight, my heart’s content, my spirit’s strength.  So as I send my lover, my best friend, my husband off yet again to serve his country, do his duty, I will stand tall, head held high. I will cry but I will not despair. I will miss him but I will not shut down and stop living. I will live life to the fullest and bring my children along for the adventure. We will suck every drop of joy and laughter out of every possible moment. We will waste no opportunity to dance, laugh loudly, sing our hearts out, throw open the windows of our souls and let the fresh wind of the Spirit of His presence blow through. May His Spirit fill every pore of my being, ooze out and permeate the atmosphere wherever I go. I send you off Jose with a tear in my eye, a hole in my heart and expectation in my spirit. We both have a journey to walk out this coming year, may the Lord amaze us both at His presence in our lives. May we both live intentional lives, with purpose. I’ll see you on the other side baby. Be safe, stay strong. I’ve got the kids covered. We’ve got this. Just come home to me.